The oncoming train...

I realized something today that I think is very important: I don't know what I'm doing. Probably for the first time i'm looking into the future and I don't really have a major goal. I'm certain this must happen to us all from time to time, but as it's my first, I thought I should comment. What may seem curious is that I'm not really nervous or scared by that fact; mostly I'm just intrigued by the novelty of it. Forgive me if I sound cocky, it's really more... resignation to reality. Not much I can do, except to hide here and spend the rest of my days shuffling papers and taking calls. I don't think so. I have to go make things happen... so here I go. Wish me luck.

Ah!! 27 years of ..... Me!

Today is my 27th birthday. For the first time in quite a long time, there will be no major celebration of the fact. And I think that's kinda cool. Ever since my first birthday (or my 0th for that matter!!) I've celebrated the 7th of September with a large number of family and friends. In recent years we had even named it, like some kind of festival; Chadfest!!! Those parties doubled as a chance to celebrate my birthday and as the first party of the new school year/ Theatre season for the theatre dept. I liked that, since I got got to be very important, but the whole thing wasn't actually focused on me. It was a great chance to meet the new kids who just joined, and after a short summer hiatus, to reconnect with my friends. But now I've graduated and moved on, so Chadfest is gone. (Theoretically, I mean I suppose they might still do it without me. Now that would be funny.) And I'm cool with that. I'm looking forward to a quiet evening alone with my wife. But one day... I think Chadfest will return.

Am I old yet?

I'm amazed at my father's seemingly eternal youthfulness. He turned 61 on Sunday and still seems like he's in his 30's (except for the fact he goes to bed at 7:30). I hope I still look that good at 60. I judge alot by my grandparents, all of whom looked like death had warmed over by that age. Granted they had lived hard lives, and smoked like it was the key to heaven. But then so did my dad, and my mom to for that matter. She still has the look of a younger girl to her. Both have fortunatly quit the smoking and are trying to take better care of themselves. Still, I can't help but wonder what I will turn out like at that age. Bald to be sure, I only have a few good years left of hair, but hopefully still youthful. I should point out that I turn 27 in six days. In a lot of ways I feal kinda old allready. My knees creek, by back cracks, my eyesight is going downhill. But I still feel alot like I did when I was a kid. I still am amazed when I see something new and exciting. I still love puppies and sunny days at the park. And I still would rather watch cartoons than C.S.I. Maybe old age is just exagerated. As long as we still have something to look ahead to, how old can you be?