I think Paige may be secretly plotting to kill Alton Brown

So your first question is probably, "Who is Alton Brown?" Fair enough. Mr. Brown is a "celebrity chef" who work on the Food Network. He has his own show Good Eats, as well as providing commentary for Iron Chef: America. So why does Paige secretly hate him?
Well, because she thinks I spend more time with him than I do her. The sad thing is she might be right.
I've recently become addicted to Food Network and Good Eats in particular. I've begun taping episodes that I might go back and review information. This is part of my new interest in actually becomeing a decent cook. I've been buying equipment for the kitchen and even become a bit of a snob over things like pots and knives.
I realized how bad I became today when my new Salt Celler arrived. If you don't know, it's a place to keep salt so you can easily grab a pinch at a time while cooking. Mine is glass and steel with a handel and flip-top lid, just like the one Mr. Brown uses. It should be, I got it from his web site. I gleefully opened the box and, after a quick clean, filled it with "Kosher" salt. It had to be Kosher, anything else and Mr. Brown would slap me until my eyeballs switched color. It was when I stood there, cackling like Gollum after finding his ring, that I thought to myself "maybe I'm going too far too fast." I mean sure, now I can Braise, and Saute, and use my broiler for lots of nifty things, and maybe I can make a Barbeque pit out of terra cotta pots, but at what cost? I only have a few precious hours a week with my wife, and it's not fair to subject her to such aggrivation. On the other hand, maybe a batch of fudge would cheer her up.